the 4 rule of real love
Have you ever dreamed of the perfect love? A love that you can read in a romance book? Or maybe seen a romantic movie and told yourself "wow! THAT is what i really call love!"
But when you drop back in the sad reality, and start to think about YOUR boyfriend or girlfriend... and then saying to yourself "gosh! he's/she's not like that at all!!", i'm pretty sure you sigh loud and thinked this is really not possible in real life for sure, and its only a utopia.
If you have already thinked this, then i bet 100$ that you and your lover are together since quite some time.
You know, i do myself, believe in utopia... why? because i can say that i live it right now! And you know what? Me and my girlfriend are together since seven year!
Just for you, i will "teach" you how you can live the utopian love yourself. I'm not a specialist, nor a doctor, a psychologist or something like that, no, but i am somebody better suited than these kind of specialist, because i have lived with many lover during all my life, and i've come to conclusion after a lot of heart broke,trial and error, that is, what i can call, the rule of the lover.
First of all, the most important thing before any tips, the No.1 rule that rule them all... In a relationship, remember that a couple is TWO PERSON!!! This is the secret of a utopian relation. If you read my tips here, and you wanna try to apply it yourself ALONE, you will eventually fail!
Imagine that you want to learn a couple dance, like a waltz , and you go to a dance school often to learn. After beeing able to dance like you wished, you ask to your lover (that never known about your dance lesson) if he wish to dance a waltz. If he doesnt know nothing about this dance, what do you think he will say? probably that he doesnt want to dance because he don't know! If you had followed the same class, you could have been able to dance together!
Now, is you wish to consolidate your love and you are TWO to think about it ( i suggest that the two of you read this article together), then now is the time for you two to read the rest of this article.
Tips for perfect harmony:
No.1: Know each other perfectly. Maybe you think you knows all about your lover, but are you pretty sure of it? Do you know every detail of is live? what is childhood looked like? what was is fear and joy beeing a kid? know what he/she really feel when a particular situation arise? Do you know exacly what is buried inside is secret garden? If you ever say no to one of this question, then you really don't know your lover well! You really know someone when your are sure the direction he will go in life, the emotion he has just by listening to his voice or knowing how he will react to a given situation, without seeing it. The best way to know each other is to ask! If he/she really love you, your lover will tell you everything you want to know, even something he will NEVER tell to anybody.
The best way to know if he/she tell you the truth, is to look at their reaction after a question. If they hesitate (ehmm....ohh...ehh..yea!), seem to repeat the same word (wh...wh...what?) or they look elsewhere when you asked them to look staight at your eye before a question, they surely not tell you the truth (or maybe they are shy, but this, you surely know enough your lover to know). If they lie to you or doesnt want to speak about some subject, its maybe not because they don't love you, no, but they don't thrust you enought, and that is another, if not the most, important point in a long term relation.
No.2: Thrust each other. Are you insecure about your relation? Do you fear your lover can go in the arm of another person? Do you fear they can be violent, can steal, that they don't tell you the truth, etc..? If then, you are missing a really important point in a relation...The thrust! Having some kind of fear of your lover is not going to help your couple, oh no! thust me! You will base your every move on your fear, and this, is the sealed end to your couple one day or another! Ask yourself: What do you think you have to loose to thrust him/her? Your couple? Ok, then continue on this way and you WILL loose it! If you fear to loose your lover, then listen to me and QUIT YOUR RELATION RIGHT NOW!!!! You will never, ever be happy in love if you live everyday with fear. Thust each other blindly. This, like the base rule sed, is to be done together. The two of you must thust each other. What if you thust your lover and one day, he left you? So? He maybe left, but not because YOU did'nt try to help. The best thing it can happen when trusting the loved one is more love from him, else... he will go (if he go, surely he HAD to go, for your life sake). You know, if so happen,we are not alone in this world, and the earth is populated with millions of people, so you WILL find somebody elsewhere that will really love you. You have a lover now (or had one), no? so you CAN find another who will love you, and believe me, after every lover, you have a better one.Listen closely to this,cause its my personal experience: its far better for you that your lover quit you if he have to, because by his action, NOW you know that this person was'nt really loving you, so you are winning here to know that, so you have really nothing to loose!
No.3: give attention to your lover Another rule that is a must have in a couple. Nearly all the time, after the dust of the "romance of the new love" start to go down, we begins what i call a lazy love. We are so much used to our lover that we forgot that we have one! He/She want attention, but we did'nt notice it, and then start the routine of the day to day love. A lot of people think that he/she's aquired by the title "our lover", but in fact this is just an illusion that blind the truth. Even if we think "hah! he/she love me, so i have nothing to worry about!", know that you think false! they will eventually quit you one day or another with this kind of inconscient thinking! If you get out often with your friend without your lover, like to stay home alone and play videogame or listening to tv too often , anything without the other or doing every time the same thing with them, you loose point, if we can say. In a couple, you must think always and everyday like if it was your fist day together. Remember the first day or week that you've been together, and sincerly think about what you do now with him/her? Do you find a diffrence between the two? Then, now you know what to do to today, that made him/her crack for your before. If you don't want to add this little thing that can sparkle his love, then quit him/her! He/she need a better person than you and you are not ready and mature for a serious relationship!
Another point that can enter this tips is to listen. Yea! listening to what the other have to say is REALLY important. You must listen carefully, because sometime, the loved one can say a thing that sound like something, but in fact mean another thing. You must learn to "read between the line". You know, i've already lost a girlfriend myself because of that. She has been abused sexualy by someone when she was already with me. She tryed to tell it to me, but because she was kind of "shy" about it ( maybe not to hurt me or because she was disgusted of men, i'm not quite sure), she told it "in between", but being the stupid teen i was back then, and not fully listening to her, because of my "lazy love" like i sed before, i fail to catch what she really wanna say. Result? She was hurt bad by my incomprehension of her, when she needed me to listen and reconfort her... cause of this, she left me some week after. Thats why i urge you to listen closely to your loved one, because not everybody can open his heart easely, and you must respect this by fully listening.
No.4: Be strong of faith! Yea! this is not about faith in god or whatsoever, no, but faith in your love. Have you ever heard the sentence: " .... to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part..."? This everyone, resume all i can say about it. If you don't already know, this sentence was the christian wedding vow that nearly all who want to be married must say before been pronounced husband and wife. I'm not a great christian myself, but this sentence alone is what i can call "faith in love". It's all about to be cleaver and strong about the fact that, not everytime in a couple, the life can be harsh and rought. In a life long couple , someday or another, something will go bad with your lover. But the real faith in love can overcome this. If you are the kind of person who flee during hard time, you will never ever last a life long relationship. You surely know that rarely, a teen love in high school last longer than the high school itself, but sometime, it happen that a boy and a girl meet in high school... and its for life! But this, is because the young couple used, without knowing it, these rule i've mentionned here. For the rule of thumb of this actual tips, have faith in your lover, even if you shout at each other, because its normal for couple to start a little war sometime, and with time and faith in your love, everything come back to normal one way or another.
All these tips is for me, a succesfull path to real love! Don't worry everybody, If your couple fall one day, don't panic! Like we sed, if you fall from the horse, stand up and climb again on the steed! I don't want to blow your bubble, but you will likely, as a teen, broke up with you lover someday. But what you have to remember, is to never stop to believe in love because of that. If you are a mature teen, that is good, but remember that a teenager is rarely mature. So if you are, and your lover is not (boy are often more immature than girls... sorry lads but thats the truth, i was a teen too you know :P ), your relation will end surely before the first or second year. But, if the two of you are mature, you can pass the rough time and have a real relationship that can last a life long!
So, if you wish to know the real love, follow these rule, and you too, will live like me, an utopian love...
By: Pat s. (your mad webmaster!)
P.S: If this information helped your couple, please let us know by email. It always good to see that we can have helped you!